Also the proud owner of a mini-van.

Once went skiing and golfing at the same time. When he suggested to the Olympic committee to incorporate a new sport, which he referred to as “Skolf,” they gently encouraged that he “dial it down a couple notches.”

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Glamor shot

Fell on the ice immediately after this video was taken.

In charge of writing employee descriptions. Take caution; he is not merciful.

Avid enjoyer of sharp white cheeses.

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DO NOT CLICK

Callie once held Joe’s hair back on his 21st birthday after the dare of “I bet you can’t chug this 4Loko” came to it’s only inevitable conclusion.

Enjoys photography, being agitated before caffiene, and brief exposure to the sun before being able to camouflage herself against a fire truck.

Also, is a nurse. Like, an ER nurse. In real life. No kidding.

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She’ll kill me for this

Thomas, born and raised as a nobleman in the Northshire Providence in Tualatin of Oregon, heralds from a royal lineage that once boasted their claim to the Water Heater Throne. Betrayed and downcast from the Vassal State of Salem, King Calandra the 4th seeks to reclaim the crown; and with it, the heads of the betrayers.

Carson has been forklift certified since he was four years old, can do a backflip in roller skates, is currently tied for "most holes put into structures" at Saffron, and can lift up the rear end of a PT Cruiser without doing warm up stretches.

On his first week, totaled a company van. Loves spicy food. Please offer him nothing but hot peppers, sauces, and otherwise spicy things.

Edit: HR has informed me this is a violation. Please do not give Steven peppers. The spiciest pepper he can handle is the one that went to medical school.

Was a forming member of the Beatles until Paul feared his musical genius overtaking the creativity of the band. James Hetfield cited Dallas as a reference on his resume. Once popped out of a cake for Eddie Van Halen's birthday. Also once took a diet pill nasally on a dare.

All around, just a stellar guy.

On his seventh journey across the Caribbean Sea, Joshua was cornered by the HMS Wolseley while smuggling a ship-full of plumbing goods in the name of East Saffron Trading Company. An epic battle ensued with copious cannon fire and cutlass clashing. As the legend says, Josh lost his left pinky finger to the captain of the rival ship… But it re-grew through sheer pirate regeneration force. He now stands amongst Blackbeard and William Kidd in being a legend on the seas.